• Amira

coldest heart

I know that I led you to believe I wanted us to be real.

There was no future for us, I just want to let you know.

I think I played a part in swaying your heart.

But I can't lead you to my soul because every piece is worlds apart.

If my kisses have been the foundation for your future dreams, then

you must allow my words to now bring you to reality.

No castles of a happy love to be found here, my dear.

"Your heart's an arctic that no compassion will ever find shelter in", you say to me.

Or perhaps a storm that banishes any sign of life, I would think it be.

I did, to my defence, want you for a moment.

But the moment is gone.

A broken heart must confess why it has become this way.

I have run out of feelings for the world day after day.

I want to move from one person to the other,

unable to place my feelings in one place and one place only simply because

I cannot love with the coldest heart.

For I keep finding myself starving for safeness and in a constant state of flight from

the pain of the past and present, as they have wrapped me ever so tightly.

I am limited with emotion, but not passion, that I say freely.

Passion to hold and speak, but to love and lose myself in your sleep, that cannot

ever be.

Your eyes spoke so much of forever, you smile said the sweetest things whenever you heard me utter your name.

But my lips say to you now,

I cannot love with the coldest heart.

Where did it all wrong for a soul like me, who was it that led this to be?

Not one thing or one moment, but a million pieces that came right at me and so I must turn away and shield myself.

Temporary lovers, temporary conversations, temporary moments, a temporary me and a temporary you.

No fools inside my head when I have said what I said.

I concur, regret is a friend of mind, we speak often, but I fear I'll never explain myself properly before all love is dead.

You, I am sure, will go on, but it will never be the same with someone else because I know what you felt for me was with purpose and depth.

If your tears are here for me, let it be, for I cannot love with the coldest heart.

And you

cannot stop loving me because I have made you so,

as someone had once done unto me.

Now, wave goodbye to your innocence and be free.

- Amira Shohdi


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