• Amira

Day 3: Suicide note

Updated: Feb 28, 2018

Today, I received a message from someone who has been contemplating suicide and I immediately felt my heart pounding out of my shirt and I got chills down my spine.

How do I react to that? This person said that they were scared and needed to talk to someone and that, that someone was me.

And all I could think about as saw this person typing away is; how can I help genuinely just as I now genuinely feel responsible to do all that I can to help. And here's the funny thing, I have been in a place before where I didn't necessarily contemplate leaving this earth, but asked myself continuously if I really did want to be here. And in these sort of situations the word becomes a very dark place and light can come from the strangest places.

I do not wish to go into details about this person's struggle and what the conversation was like between us. I want this to remain....ours in a way. But here what I do want to share about this whole experience if I may call it and this conversation; this person is an artist who paints. I asked them to send me their paintings and was genuinely and sincerely wowed and stunned by the emotions in their work. And for the life of me had no idea why that potential was being wasted and not shared with the world.

But here's the thing, here's what also got me thinking, how many of us have wasted talent or need an outlet to do something or be someone we need to be. To realise and live "our calling". We have to be us and we need an outlet, we need THE outlet to do that or else, we lose ourselves. Some of us can lose who we are and still live but not be alive, while others will find it hard to survive on a daily basis and will no longer see the need or reason to live.

Now, here's another thing that instantly came to mind today after this all took place. This person was thanking me for responding to their messages and I couldn't accept it because I wanted to thank them instead. They have allowed me to be part of a crucial part of their life at this given time. And like I always say,

my purpose in life is to find a way to help others otherwise my purpose would cease to exist.

That being said, that doesn't mean I am an angel, or that I'm going to be nice all day everyday to anyone and everyone. Work is the area of life that tends to test my patience and sometimes I slip. Sometimes I meet people who hate me fore no reason and sometimes I deal with people who end up not liking me too much because of something I did, be it wrong or right. But since I'm not a chocolate cake, I wasn't made to please everyone or be liked by everyone. In the work place, some people will like you and some people won't, reason or no reason. Just know that you're doing your best, you apologise when you make mistakes, you stand your ground when you've done nothing wrong and are just being bullied or bossed around.

So here's another I want to say, never belittle or undermine your fight and your journey to exploring and sharing who you are with the world. You never ever know who's life you're touching or changing. I would have never expected a message like I got today. I usually receive messages asking for all sorts of advise but not this. And today of all days I couldn't be prouder of my mission and the cause I'm working towards; which is positively influencing other people's lives in any way possible.

Do share with me any of your thoughts, ideas, questions or just talk if you like, I'll be here to share my thoughts and my words with you guys. It's what I'm here for.

That's my bit for today, until tomorrow, live & love with kindness.

Amira x


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