Day 5: Hide & Seek
We are complex human beings, some more than others. It really all depends on how you see others and how you see yourself. If you're the type that thinks you're the smartest in the bunch, chances are..... you're not. You have to try to understand others and allow them to see you the way that is needed for your benefit and that's usually very tricky. People like to easily think they can understand or figure out each other easily.
This happens a lot with me and I always let them think they're right. The benefit of me letting them think they know me and therefore I can control how they think of me is a much stronger tool for me to use than if I had no idea how they saw me therefore I would be unable to predict how they feel about me, what they expect of me and what they see in me that speaks or doesn't speak to them.
Never ever underestimate others, or what they know let alone what they're capable of feeling and doing. So like adjusting to your personal life, and the people you meet socially you kind of have to learn to master the art of showing what you wan to show so that it doesn't give out too much information about you but lets people know what you need them to know.
Now what you need people to know could at times be different from what they want to know and you are not obliged at any moment to show or share anything you don't want to. That's how powerful you are.
This doesn't mean that you become fake, it just means you master the art of behavior in certain environments while trying to maintain your own identity. Sounds complicated right? It is a bit. It isn't an easy task. But I will share with you an example to ease you through this. I am usually friendly but I am not too comfortable around new people, especially when it's face to face.
However, because of my character, confidence and my charisma, (yes I am aware of strengths as I am of my weaknesses) everywhere always expects me to be very friendly, super outgoing and always understanding to others. Especially when I always talk about kindness through my videos and social media.
Let's get this straight now, kindness and niceness should go hand in hand, unless someone's after you with a butcher knife, then you'll need to show them that you have a rough side for self defense. You're decent, but not a pushover.
So back to my example, a few days ago, someone told me that I don't really have a good poker face. And I thought it would be fun to go along with this and start defending myself with the fact that I am but I just never showed it. I pretended to get all worked up because in my head that's the funnier mor einteresting scenario instead of responding with a blank face and an "ok, suit yourslef".
I am always so sure of my capabilities and incapabilities but that's not something I share, in fact I rarely share how I feel. I like people to think I'm an open book, but what I'm really showing them are blank pages.
I have this defense mechanism, I show the world what I want them to see because: a) I have learned from past mistakes of always being an open book, b) rarely anyone deserves to know the real me inside out, c) those who really wish to know me will see through the bullshit and d) it's much more fun to keep creating this side of me as I grow. I keep the real me for very very few.
I'm not saying that I am being fake, I am saying there are thing I choose not to share, I choose to not show my introverted-ness for example because I see it as a weak point so I push myself and I try to seem like an extrovert which can backfire sometimes because people can expect so much when it's just not my comfort zone.
Sometimes you will feel weak but you will need to learn how to show you're strong so that you don't get eaten alive. And sometimes you will want to go all out and share everything with anyone but you will have to hold back and maybe even seem cold or distant but that's because you must learn who to share your real self with.
It's a balance or creating yourself and being yourself and it's one of the keys to success I believe. So I'll leave you with this; being corporate smart is very similar to being socially smart. You will have moments where you will slip due to many different reasons but eventually your identity is your passport. It's how you'll get places.
I gotta go now, it's Thursday night, we have a long weekend thanks to the bank holiday on Sunday.
Have a good one people.
Until tomorrow inshallah, live & love with kindness.