I know I've been MIA for this past month. But like everyone else, sometimes I look around and wonder how am I still here and why am I still here and what is MY purpose? It's only normal I guess to stop every once and a while to ask yourself these questions, no? We grow, we change, I'm not a train on track, I can alter my ways. I need to always make sure I'm doing what makes me feel good about who I am, I must must must stay true to myself.
I tripped over my own ideas and got sidetracked into a narrow dark street inside my own head that was lined up with disarming ideas dressed in what I might not be able to achieve rather than what I can, will and already have.
I get weak. I've had people message me asking me how to deal with their issues an their problems but I needed to focus on my own just so that I can find the will to continue in my own path.
You see, we worry so much about "good days" and "bad days" but it really is our outlook and what we make of what we get. What's a good day when you're not happy or hopeful or even optimistic? It's just a day, they're all days. Days counted and past, passing ever more.
I chose a tough day for me to pick myself up and write this and I just couldn't sit around any longer and wait for something to pick me up, like a mood, a song or a cheeseburger or even a good friend's kind and supportive words.
Of all the days I chose to come back to life, I chose a Sunday, my toughest day of the week. I'm in love/hate relationship with my expectations, they are ever growing and never ending. They're high and they scare the life out of me. They make me question my capabilities and my identity, not the core of my values or virtues, but my power in the things I can control and my patience with the things I can't.
I pray every day for peace of heart and mind if for nothing else.
It's good to be back...
Until next time, live and love with kindness.